Being outside, looking in

Something has to crack to let the light in. 

When I started to crack, I wasn’t so comfortable with what the light shone on. And, left ignored, the cracks only became deeper, and bigger. It took a long time before I was ready to stop and face the fact that everything was not OK. I was not OK. And once I did that, I no longer saw the cracks as a nuisance, but as a way for me to learn, and reflect. The cracks were a way out, an opportunity to step outside and look in at myself, look in at my life, and see what was wrong.

Given the choice, I would always like to be told what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. It’s not pleasant that way, but I believe it is essential. Anxiety attacks were never pleasant for me. In fact, they were the most terrifying times of my life. But to me, they were also a message. They were a message to me that something was wrong, that there was some aspect of my life I needed to step back and look at, then change.

It took me a long to realise this, to realise that my anxiety attacks were something I could learn to control. That was my first step towards a solution. It was a long journey, full of baby step, and days when I felt that taking one step forward would only result in me falling two steps back. Some days, I even feel myself drifting backwards again, some days, I fall all the way back.

It is because of this that I set resolutions that would change so many aspects of my life in 2014. Along the way, I have come to realise that investing time in myself, in my dreams, in reaching my goals is so important. There is no one aspect of my life that I can allow myself to be completely fixated on. Balance is important. Living the life I want to live is important. I am important.

Prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/09/daily-prompt-outside-2/

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11 comments

      1. No problem! Like I said, if you ever need a good pick me up, go check out my blog and laugh at my expense. Everyone else does over there xD Sometimes even I laugh at my own expense?

        Does that count? Do I get a cookie if it does? I like cookies..just saying…no hints though.. 😀

        Like

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