self care.

Making everyday count.

I had to take a little break from writing posts, because I really didn’t have that much to write about. I haven’t smashed any personal records, I haven’t had any grand breakthroughs. What I have been doing is taking care of myself, looking at the situations and people which weren’t having such a healthy influence on my mood and life, and then looking at how I can work on surrounding myself with less negative, more positive.  So while that doesn’t look very productive on the outside, it was really important for me.

While I was having this Mini Re-evaluation Of Everything Ever, I found some really useful ways that help me.

One of them was starting a journal. In this journal, I’m only allowed to engage in positive self-talk. I am not allowed to put myself down. And every day, in this journal, I must write down 5 ways that I made that day count. There’s a couple of reasons that I think everyone should do this:

  • It’s a really good way of showing yourself that even when you feel like you had a terrible day, that day was not wasted. Maybe you learned from a mistake? Maybe it just made you appreciate good days better?
  • It shows you that there are so many little things that you have to be thankful. Sure, some days are going to count because you have done something unbelievably productive, like cleaned your entire house. Others will count because you reached a goal or a milestone. Some days will count because you just had the most important or meaningful day of your life. But some will just count because you met up with a friend for coffee, or watched a good film, or read a good book, or were on time for work or college. The small things count, and they add up to most of your life. 
  • It shows you that getting work done is not the only thing that counts. Enjoying yourself, taking care of yourself is important too.

While continuing on this Mini Re-evaluation Of Everything Ever, I realised that a lot of situations in my daily life make me feel overwhelmed, stressed, or can even be massive anxiety triggers. So I made another list. It’s a list for when I recognise that I’m starting to feel overwhelmed, that I’m getting that tight feeling in my chest again, that I need to find a way to separate myself from that situation before this overwhelmed feeling becomes a problem. This list is full of things that I can do to make myself feel better, to unwind, to distance myself from an unhealthy situation, or even just to take a break. It’s full of things like:

  • Drink a cup of green tea, coffee, hot chocolate.
  • Pay attention to your breathing.
  • Listen to some music.
  • Read a book.
  • Go for a run.
  • Walk the dog
  • Watch some videos on youtube.

I’m really working on paying attention to how I’m feeling, to how I react in situations, to how I’m dealing. It’s so important, so vital, and it’s past time I started taking care of myself.

 

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Being outside, looking in

Something has to crack to let the light in. 

When I started to crack, I wasn’t so comfortable with what the light shone on. And, left ignored, the cracks only became deeper, and bigger. It took a long time before I was ready to stop and face the fact that everything was not OK. I was not OK. And once I did that, I no longer saw the cracks as a nuisance, but as a way for me to learn, and reflect. The cracks were a way out, an opportunity to step outside and look in at myself, look in at my life, and see what was wrong.

Given the choice, I would always like to be told what I need to hear, not what I want to hear. It’s not pleasant that way, but I believe it is essential. Anxiety attacks were never pleasant for me. In fact, they were the most terrifying times of my life. But to me, they were also a message. They were a message to me that something was wrong, that there was some aspect of my life I needed to step back and look at, then change.

It took me a long to realise this, to realise that my anxiety attacks were something I could learn to control. That was my first step towards a solution. It was a long journey, full of baby step, and days when I felt that taking one step forward would only result in me falling two steps back. Some days, I even feel myself drifting backwards again, some days, I fall all the way back.

It is because of this that I set resolutions that would change so many aspects of my life in 2014. Along the way, I have come to realise that investing time in myself, in my dreams, in reaching my goals is so important. There is no one aspect of my life that I can allow myself to be completely fixated on. Balance is important. Living the life I want to live is important. I am important.

Prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/01/09/daily-prompt-outside-2/